How to overcome low self esteem in the face of different actors that are ready to pull down your wall of defense is something we’ll all experience at some point in our lives.

In this post, I am writing this not as a random fact picked from all over the internet but as someone who has experienced it personally.

I am someone with a big confidence and ego naturally.

Oftentimes, I talk about my challenges as a polio survivor living with a club foot and juggling different things in a very busy city of Lagos.

However, on some days, I’m down with insecurity about my leg and how it has one way or the other affected my self esteem as a young lady.

On some other days it’s about my face.

I have a very sensitive skin and I’m so prone to acne and breakouts.

This has left me with a myriad of dark spots which I sometimes rely on make up to cover them up.

I have used a number of things but it’s more of a rollercoaster and I’m yet to find a permanent solution to it.

Some days, it gets to me so bad that I don’t even step out to do my regular duties.

This post is not about me directly but I’m sharing the fact that low self esteem and insecurities get the best of us sometimes and there’s nothing we can do about it.

We can only manage them and also talk about How to overcome low self esteem.

If you have ever felt inadequate and unworthy or unduly self critical of yourself, second guessing your abilities and opening you to self doubt, then you’re dealing with low self esteem.

As a highly smart woman, one of the major investments you can put in yourself is to learn how to overcome low self esteem and self doubt.

Before you go on to read this, I want you to know that:

You’re good enough,

You’re very smart and intelligent,

You have what it takes to succeed.

Don’t ever forget that.

Don’t ever feel negative towards yourself because the powers our thoughts carry are limitless.

Learning how to overcome low self esteem is building your self esteem in itself.

Self esteem is an attitude you build by yourself and for yourself.

It is more of the way you visualize yourself as well as the world around you.

Like I said earlier, we all suffer from low self esteem at some point in our lives and this can come in various ways.

It can be as a result of failing a course, being bullied, working in a toxic environment, etc.

The causes of low self esteem are unlimited.

However, I’ve noted some points on how to overcome low self esteem here.

These methods will help you revive your confidence and help you discover yourself.

Table of Contents

How To Overcome Low Self Esteem.

1. Exercise

Whenever I exercise, I feel like I can literally take over the world.

I don’t know why but the physical activity releases a boost of confidence in me that wasn’t present before I worked out.

This is what endorphins do.

Endorphins are hormones released in your body when you exercise and those hormones enhance general well being and relief stress.

When you exercise, you have more strength and enjoy the fact that you’re actually taking care of your body.

Exercising also reduces the the feelings of anxiety and depression that may want to kick in.

You can do targeted body workouts or do general body workouts.

Whichever works for you.

2. Express Gratitude.

You see, I have a problem with ingratitude.

Don’t assume people know you’re grateful for any gesture extended to you.

Don’t internalize gratitude.

Expressing your gratitude is you shifting your focus from the negative point of your emotions to the positives.

Being fixated on things going south or gone sour will dampen your confidence.

Focusing on insecurities, past hurts and disappointments will only water your self doubt and frustrations.

Focus on your positive life’s experiences and expend your energy on them instead.

Appreciate the people in your life and in so doing, you’d realize you’re also amplifying your achievements as well as the support they have provided in your life.

Be grateful for everything and anything.

You can keep a gratitude journal to help you make things more concrete.

3. Cut Out Users And Toxic People.

There are some set of people in our lives that may seem to be drivers.

This means that they push for whatever they want till they get it.

Saying no to them feels really off and odd and you’d rather not.

I had people like this in my life.

They actually even wouldn’t take no for an answer and they feel entitled to your obligation to do things for them.

Please avoid these set of people for your own sake.

Their indirect toxicity will affect you on the long run.

If you find yourself constantly trying to avoid a person, then by all means, cut such people out of your life.

They will weigh you down eventually and note that you can’t keep obliging them in all their demands.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t go all out for people, but know the people you’d go all out for.

Stop crossing oceans for people who wouldn’t jump a puddle for you.

Stop it.

Don’t make them make you do things you’d naturally not do thereby killing your vibe.

Keep them away and do what makes you happy.

There’s no point doing things that make you sad and keep you under undue pressure.

This puts your esteem in a bad shape and is generally not good for you.

4. Learn To Say No.

Sometimes, you find yourself saying “yes” to people because saying “no” comes with possibility of explaining yourself.

Saying “no” to people doesn’t make you an unkind or wicked person.

Granting their requests most times leaves you stressed and frustrated because you didn’t put yourself first.

You’ll probably put a lot of things on hold just to see this happen. You end up losing control over a lot of things.

Saying no sometimes is you having s control over things and activities and your own actions.

This puts your self esteem in a good light as you’ll realize you’ll begin to feel good about yourself.

If you feel too bad turning people down outright, you can schedule them to work with your own time.

This will teach you to be assertive, boost your confidence and self esteem as a whole.

“If you want more freedom and energy, start saying no.”

5. Avoid Negative Influences.

We’ve been talking about how to overcome low self esteem all along and somehow, you’ve found a good ground on implementing them please don’t let anyone mess with you by being negative.

This can be from negative people around you, such as the fellow with snide remarks, someone who dismisses your ideas and goals.

Someone who will always find a reason why your quest is a futile one.

Sieve them out of your space.

Sometimes, the negative Influence comes through social media.

Be careful of what you ingest in any form from the web.

Instead of seeing and reading these downsides, why not read blogs that support your ambitions.

Focus on programs that make you feel good about yourself and where you can pick more good to add to the existing one in your life.

6. Cut Down On Social Media.

Except you’re a social media manager or you run a full time business on social media, you have no business spending the whole day there.

The media can be a mixed blessing in the sense that having a perceived insight to people’s lifestyles can give room for undue comparisons, which may make you feel inadequate about yourself.

Starting from the perfect selfies, display of grandeur, smooth skin, perfect figures forgetting the fact that filters and photo edits happen.

7. Use Confident and Positive Words

Use confident and positive words and try not to put yourself down.

Speak in a self-assured voice, speak clearly and slow down your words.

Focus on your body language, do you have eye contact, how’s your posture?

Acting out each technique will teach you how to be confident.

The behaviour will soon stick and your confidence will come naturally.

This is not in any way pretending or trying to be who you’re not.

It is molding yourself to becoming who you want to be and living in that light till you become.

8. Challenge Yourself.

Going all out and setting challenges for yourself to surmount is an effective way to improve your self esteem.

It gives you purpose, direction and even a set out rule on how to execute the task ahead of you.

You can make them a long term or short term goal and this will definitely put your mind in shape.

You however, have to be realistic about the goals and ensure it is an achievable one.

Recording progress and seeing them work out perfectly will expand your confidence and it will hit you how much you can grow in a very limited time.

Challenging yourself will also amount to leaving your comfort zone and this will push you to become a better version of yourself.

9. Take Responsibility.

Taking responsibility for your own life means being in control.

Learn to reduce pointing fingers at others for things you clearly should take responsibility for.

Stop blaming others for your own circumstances and instead, look for where you faulted and improve on getting better.

Learning from your mistakes will help you make necessary improvements where fit.

This will help you take control of your life and help you improve your self esteem.

10. Be Kind.

It costs nothing to be kind.

Kindness is a way to show what lies within you.

Being kind to others will help you feel good about yourself.

Personally, I feel elated and fulfilled when I meet the needs of people.

It puts me in a very good mood to know that someone is happy because of me.

A simple word or act of kindness goes beyond the physical.

It makes you feel more worthy when you see the difference your actions can make.

Remember I touched on saying no and cutting toxic people out of your life, however I never said stop being kind.

Everything must be on a balance.

Being kind is not being a people pleaser or being a doormat for people.

You necessarily don’t have to put people’s needs ahead of yours to show you’re kind.

That’s actually being stupid in my own opinion.

This is just you treating others how you wish to be treated and focusing on the positives of life.

“In a world where you can be anything, be kind.”

11. Focus on Your Positives.

It’s all good and nice to be kind to others and while at this, I hope you’re kind to yourself.

You might wonder how you can be unkind to yourself.

I’d explain.

When people complement you, how do you take it?

Do you try to water it down or you doubt the sincerity of the gesture?

That’s being unkind to yourself. Whatever good gesture is extended towards you, fly with it sweetheart.

You deserve to be celebrated.

Praise yourself for a job well done. Don’t look for loopholes or downplay your good head.

I praise myself for every blog post written and when I hit it right.

Stop focusing on the negatives and failures of the past thereby robbing yourself of the joy of the present.

Don’t be so hard on yourself and then you forget to love yourself and live your life well.

Celebrate your wins and every milestone achieved.

Believe in yourself and remember that you didn’t come this far just to come this far.

You’ve come this far and the future that lies ahead can only get better if you handle the present effectively.

So, this is my own way on how to overcome low self esteem.

Do you have any advice on how to overcome low self esteem? Comment below, I would love to hear from you!

If you by chance have any questions for me, you can shoot me an email on www.yelewrites@gmail.com I’ll be willing to read from you and also reply your emails.

Want to know what I look like or what my life has been for some time, you can check me out on Instagram here.

See you on the next post.

Xoxo