Although man is a social being- hence the need to always socialize or be around people- there is always the need for personal space and boundaries.
There is only so much a person can take in life. There will always be a time when you feel like you have had enough.
The need to create boundaries cannot be overrated.
Seeing how different people are, what may be offensive to you may be something another person does not even care about.
Boundaries help point out to people what you accept and what you do not accept. It also helps build or preserve respect and maintain peace.
If you do not set boundaries in life, anything that comes will get to you, and you cannot blame people for whatsoever they do to you, because, how were they supposed to know that you do not accept it?
Setting boundaries also helps you in your personal development, making you fully responsible for the decisions you take as you grow.
With boundaries, some unnecessary influence would not be and you would not say some “he tricked me into doing it”.
How can you set boundaries to improve your life, then?
Sincerely, setting your boundaries and establishing them can prove quite difficult. It takes patience and courage to even attempt it.
With consistency, there are some ways you can set realistic boundaries that would help improve your life. We will be considering some of those ways below.
1. Make Your Limits Clearly Known
When you are drawing your boundaries, draw it as clear as possible.
Make sure people understand what you mean clearly. Make sure a boundary for one is a boundary for all- to avoid misconceptions.
If you notice someone doing otherwise after you have clearly stated your boundaries, assume the person does not understand you and respectfully call the person to order.
As much as it lies on your power, let no one be confused about anything you had included in your boundaries. Explain until they get it.
2. Be More Direct When Addressing People
Do not beat about the bush when you want to relate your boundaries to others.
Use clear and concise words and speak in ways the person you are relating to understands. The same thing goes for a person that breaks your boundaries.
Directly express displeasure and let the person know that he has broken your bounds. Inability to be direct while stating your boundaries will lead to a lot of misunderstanding.
3. Set More Simple Boundaries First
When you start setting your boundaries, be careful to set simple and relatable ones first.
Do not overwhelm People and yourself with complicated, unrealistic expectations. If you have one complex boundary, break it into understandable bits and dish it out one after the other.
That way, it will be easier for you and others to take it in, adjust to it and normalize it. Setting complex boundaries leaves you at the risk of breaking your boundaries more time than you can count.
4. Be Courageous
Do not shy away from letting people know that you have boundaries or telling them to people.
At the end of the day, everyone has boundaries; and that person to whom you do not want to state your boundaries for fear of his opinion or his reaction has his own boundaries he expects you to respect.
If you courageously and respectfully state your boundaries, and firmly follow it up, with time it will become a norm for you and the people around you.
5. Be Well Conscious Of Your Boundaries
Consciously remember that you have boundaries for easy drawing of them when necessary.
If you do not have a conscious memory of your boundaries it will help you and others to easily break it.
If you are going to respect your boundaries, and get others to, you have to so normalize them that breaking one will feel so abnormal.
6. Listen To Your Body Language
Sometimes, when your boundaries have been broken, your body responds with resentment and discomfort.
If while you are doing something your body starts reacting against it, it should speak clearly to you that you are going beyond your boundaries, and you should be able to immediately call yourself to book.
When your body starts indicating displeasure in a thing and you continue in it, overtime, your body will adjust to it; but you would have lost a boundary.
7. Be Firm
Do not have a boundary and trivialize it at the face of some situation or person.
Your boundaries must be your boundaries in whatever situation or before anybody.
If you are not firm about your boundaries others may take you to be a hypocrite and/or someone without firmness.
Do not let any situation or person make you break your boundaries- for any reason. As soon as your boundary is broken once, there is always this tendency to keep breaking and breaking till there is nothing left of it.
8. Pay Attention To Taking Care Of Yourself
Being very attentive to your self care will help you stay strict with your boundaries.
If you are thinking “if this thing is done, or if this thing is not done, it will have an adverse effect on me”, you will try as much as you can to avoid hurting yourself.
People who do not have boundaries are open to all kinds of things- both positive and negative. If care is not taken, they might be long destroyed before they realize how much damages not having boundaries cost them.
If you love yourself you would not give room for any hurt to come to you.
There is so much trouble and unnecessarily headaches you will avoid if you set your boundaries straight and follow it up firmly and with courage.
Boundaries will help you create self awareness, love and care for yourself more, say a firm no and become more compassionate.
Boundaries are not punishment, rather, they help in improving your life quality.