How often do you check-in with your partner?
Or it’s just vibe and whatever with you guys.
I’ll like to compare relationships to gardens because they require consistent care and attention to flourish and blossom like the Japanese Kiku flowers in Autum.
Monthly check-ins with your partner can help maintain and strengthen your connection, ensuring both of you are on the same page and growing together.
Here are 10 thoughtful questions to ask each other every month, aimed at nurturing your bond, understanding each other better, and keeping the spark alive.
Monthly Check-In Couple Questions To Strengthen Your Bond
1. What Was the Best Moment We Shared This Month?
Reflecting on positive experiences can reinforce your connection.
This question allows you to revisit happy memories and acknowledge the joy you bring to each other’s lives.
It’s a great way to celebrate your relationship’s highlights and remember why you love being together.
If the best moment was laughing together over a misadventure in the kitchen or when you both did the wrong dance moves to the right song, you’re on the right track.
Nothing says bonding like a shared disaster involving flour and a smoke alarm.
And a month checkup will give you hints on what is going right and well.
This question helps you know what you need to do more often
What made this moment special for you, and how can we create more of these experiences?
2. How Can We Support Each Other Better?
Are you getting and giving the right support you need in your relationship?
Support is the cornerstone of any strong relationship.
Have a partner that isn’t supportive makes the relationship lonely and exhausting.
Understanding how your partner needs support can prevent misunderstandings and foster a nurturing environment.
Discussing this can help you identify areas where you can be more attentive and proactive.
Sometimes, support means knowing when to offer a shoulder to cry on and when to hand over a pint of ice cream and the remote (thank you for saving the world from World War 3)
Ask your partner, in what specific ways can I show you more support in the coming month?
We all need support.
3. What Have We Learned About Each Other Recently?
If there is anything that is ever constant in life, it is change.
Like my psychology lecturer said when I was in school, “humans are dynamic in nature”
Even if you’ve been together for years, there’s always something new to discover about your partner.
This question encourages you to reflect on recent insights and appreciate the continuous evolution of your relationship.
You both should see each other as a lifelong research project of love.
Learning that your partner can juggle, or at least tried to juggle fruit, might not change your life, but it’s definitely entertaining.
How does this new understanding change the way you view our relationship?
Make sure to have it at the back of your mind that humans change.
And we need to keep learning as we evolve.
4. What Are Our Goals for Next Month?
Sharing goals is an opportunity for you both to strengthen your bond.
Setting shared goals will strengthen your teamwork and ensure that you’re working together towards a common future.
One of my favorite things to do is planning with my wife.
Even if we don’t follow the plan, we always achieve our goals.
If you do this more often your relationship with each other will only keep getting better.
There are certain expressions that people use like “a couple that prays together stays together” etc.
It might be planning a trip, saving for something special, or personal development, discussing your goals keeps you aligned and motivated
Goals could be as massive as saving for a house or as simple as finally organizing that junk drawer.
How can we support each other in achieving these goals?
Ask your partner this question today and work on something together.
5. How Do You Feel About Our Communication?
Don’t make the mistake of assuming all is well.
Ask your partner about your level of communication.
Are they ok with it or not?
Effective communication is vital for a healthy relationship.
This question opens up a dialogue about how well you’re communicating and what can be improved.
It’s a chance to address any communication issues before they escalate.
If your partner’s idea of communicating is a series of grunts and nods while watching TV, it might be time for a chat about, well, chatting.
What can we do to improve our communication and make sure we’re both heard?
6. Is There Anything That’s Been Bothering You?
Babe, are you ok?
This is my wife’s way of checking up on me, and guess what?
It’s so soothing whenever she asks at the write time
Sometimes, small annoyances can build up if left unaddressed.
And that can lead to marital disaster.
This question provides a safe space to air grievances and find solutions together.
It helps prevent resentment and ensures that both partners feel their concerns are valid.
Addressing the little things, like your partner’s habit of leaving socks everywhere, can prevent bigger issues down the road.
How can we resolve this issue together and prevent it from happening again?
And gradually your bond with each other will be strengthened.
7. What Are You Most Grateful For in Our Relationship?
When you ask this question, you will gain an insight on what your partner truly cherish in your relationship.
And with that information, you will know more on how grateful your partner is.
Gratitude can significantly enhance your relationship’s positivity.
Acknowledging what you appreciate about each other reinforces your bond and reminds you of the good things you share.
Being grateful for your partner’s unparalleled ability to make you laugh, even when you’re mad at them, can work wonders.
When moments like these are shared, it shifts your perspective from what is going wrong to the things that are going right.
How can we continue to cultivate these aspects of our relationship?
This should be the next question when you’ve both answered.
8. How Do You Feel About the Balance of Our Responsibilities?
Fair division of responsibilities is crucial for relationship harmony.
This question helps ensure that both partners feel the workload is balanced and that no one is feeling overwhelmed or taken for granted.
It isn’t healthy to heap more responsibility on your partner.
Making sure equity is in place in your ways of sharing responsibilities is very important.
If you’re always the one taking out the trash and your partner is the self-appointed “CEO of Couch Sitting,” it might be time to redistribute some tasks.
What changes can we make to better balance our responsibilities?
9. What Are Your Dreams and Aspirations?
Understanding each other’s dreams helps you support each other’s personal growth.
Yes, they might have shared it with you before, but asking this question helps you know if it hasn’t changed.
This question keeps you informed about your partner’s ambitions and how you can encourage and assist them in achieving their dreams.
My wife randomly shows me what relates to the things that aligns with my ambitions.
Whenever she does that, we would then talk about what our aspirations and what’s next for us.
If your partner dreams of opening a quirky café, start by taste-testing their experimental lattes, someone has to be the guinea pig!
How can I help you get closer to your dreams?
10. What New Things Would You Like to Try Together?
Trying new activities together can bring excitement and novelty to your relationship.
It keeps things fresh and creates shared memories.
Discussing new activities can also help you discover new shared interests.
If your partner suggests salsa dancing and you have two left feet, consider it an opportunity for lots of laughter and maybe a few stepped-on toes.
What’s one new activity or experience we can try together next month?
Keeping Your Relationship Strong and Vibrant
Monthly check-ins with these thoughtful questions can transform your relationship.
They encourage open communication, mutual understanding, and continuous growth.
By making these check-ins a regular part of your relationship, you’re investing in your shared future and ensuring that your bond remains strong and vibrant.
See these check-ins as relationship maintenance.
Just like you wouldn’t skip oil changes for your car, don’t skip these chats for your relationship.
Relationships thrive on communication, support, and shared experiences.
So, are you ready to make these monthly check-ins a part of your relationship routine and see how they can strengthen your bond?