You may have thought you were done for good when your ex said “I’m out” or “It’s over between us.”
Maybe you even saw it coming from a mile away, but it still stung when it happened.
But if there are signs your ex is not over you, then their words might not have meant what you thought.
The truth is, a breakup often doesn’t mean the end of your relationship with someone—it just means that things need to change.
The first step to figuring out if your ex isn’t over you is realizing that there are signs in the first place. We’ve compiled a list of 12 of the most common ones here:
12 Signs Your Ex Is Not Over You.
1. He/She Contacts You
He/She contacts you.
He/she may call and text you frequently, or maybe just occasionally.
If he/she does contact you, pay attention to how often he/she contacts you.
This can give you a good idea of how interested he/she still is in you.
Also, pay attention to how he/she communicates with you when they do contact you.
Does it seem like they are making an effort to communicate with you?
Are they trying to communicate with you in a variety of ways?
These can all be signs that he/she is still very into you.
Even if they’re not constantly reaching out, your ex might still be showing signs they’re still into you by keeping in touch after the breakup—especially if they want to know how you’re doing.
If they never seem to run out of things to talk about, ask questions about your day, or tell you funny stories about their day… it might be because they’d like to resume being a part of your life again.
2. They are constantly liking your posts on social media
One of the most confusing parts of a breakup is when your ex acts like they want nothing to do with you and then, out of the blue, likes a photo from 2011 on your Instagram.
This could be for several reasons.
They may still have feelings for you or are bored and looking at old photos.
Maybe they’re trying to make you jealous by flirting with other people while social media stalking your profile.
It’s also possible they just don’t know how to use social media and liked a photo by accident.
Whatever the reason is, if this keeps happening, it’s clear that your ex is not over you.
3. They’re still following you on social media.
He or she is still following you on social media.
If your ex is following you on social media, it could mean that they haven’t fully let go of you yet.
In fact, they may secretly be hoping to get back together with you.
One sign that this is the case is if they’re still following you but you aren’t following them back.
That suggests they are checking up on what’s going on in your life and whether or not there’s a chance that the two of you may reconcile one day.
4. They Are Trying To Make You Jealous
It’s not easy to forget someone who has given you so much to remember.
If your ex is trying to make you jealous, they are not over you.
If they were really done with you and ready to move on without a second glance, it wouldn’t matter if you had a new boyfriend or girlfriend, because they would be “over it” and wouldn’t care who else was in your life.
But trying to make someone jealous is only done when we want that person back in our lives and we feel threatened by their happiness — whether that be through their potential new relationship or other aspects of their life.
They could be doing this by posting photos of themselves with another romantic interest on social media or just mentioning another person often in conversation, hoping that word will get back to you about how well he or she is doing without you.
In any case, jealousy is a very obvious sign that somebody still loves us even though he or she might say otherwise.
5. They Leave Your Things At Your Place
If your ex leaves something at your place, it can be a sign that they want to keep the option of getting back together open.
They may have left it on purpose as an excuse to come see you again, or they just might have forgotten to take it with them by accident.
Either way, according to studies on regret theory and the decision-making process, if you’re missing something from their place and they don’t bring it back after a couple of weeks, then chances are it wasn’t really an accident — they did that on purpose.
You could always ask for the item back though, and if they immediately bring it over without a lot of fuss (or even with a small gift) then that’s another big indicator that your ex is still interested in you.
6. They Don’t Want To Get Rid Of Mementos.
Does your ex keep the presents he/she gave you?
What about photos of you both or letters and cards you wrote to each other?
If your ex still has these items in his/her possession, it means they aren’t over the relationship yet.
Mementoes are important to your ex and they haven’t been able to let go of them, which means that he/she hasn’t let go of the relationship either.
But what if there isn’t an open display of mementoes?
Just because there isn’t a shrine featuring these items doesn’t mean that your ex isn’t holding on to them or cherishing them.
The truth is that some people are a bit more private about their feelings than others.
If your ex keeps mementoes tucked away or in a box or drawer somewhere but refuses to get rid of them, then this is also a sign that they aren’t over the relationship.
7. They Never Bring Up A New Relationship.
This is a sure sign that they’re not over you, and they don’t want to be with anyone else.
It’s because they are still emotionally attached to you, which isn’t good for them or anyone else!
Not only do they still think about you, but they also probably stalk your social media and go through all of your photos on Facebook (and Instagram) to see if you’ve posted any photos with a new person.
If it’s been weeks or months since the break up and no one new has entered the picture, then this is definitely a sign that your ex isn’t ready for a new relationship yet.
8. They Actively Try To Stay Friends With You.
“Your ex wants to be friends,” you might say, “but I’m not sure if they have ulterior motives.”
Okay, well… they probably do.
Your ex is still interested in you and doesn’t want to lose you entirely.
In fact, the wish to stay friends is a classic symptom of anyone who doesn’t want to admit that their relationship with you is over.
If your ex had no feelings for you anymore and was ready to move on, there would be no reason for them to try keeping communication open and maintaining a friendship.
If they are trying to stay friends with you anyway (even though it makes both of you uncomfortable), then that’s a pretty obvious sign that they still care about you!
But why would your ex even bother hanging out with someone who wasn’t their significant other?
They’re doing it for one reason only: so that YOU don’t forget about them entirely and find someone new before getting back together again someday in the future 😉
9. They Constantly Ask About Your Life.
Your ex is interested in your life, so they ask people about you.
They want to get a sense of what you are up to without having to actually contact you directly.
They don’t want you to know that they are interested in knowing about your life, but it is a good sign that tells you that he or she is not over you.
They may be asking mutual friends if there’s someone new in their life.
They may also be asking how often you go out with friends.
Or they may simply be asking how things are going at work or school.
When an ex asks specifically about a new love interest, it can be pretty obvious that he or she isn’t over the relationship yet.
10. They Stalk You Online.
Pay attention to your Facebook friends list and even the posts you’ve liked.
Have you noticed that whenever you go on vacation or have a night out with friends, you receive a message from them asking where you’ve been?
It can be hard to tell for sure if they are stalking you on social media, but if they pop up in your notifications often, it’s time to consider the possibility.
When an ex sees what is going on in your life through social media, they are trying to keep their foot in the door.
If they are hiding behind a computer screen while spying on what is going on in your life instead of making moves to get back together with you, then this entire situation is just sad!
They may want what they see happening in your life and/or feel jealous about how much fun you’re having without them.
If this is the case, then it’s completely understandable that someone would stalk an ex online.
But at some point, even for this kind of person, it might become too much and a change needs to be made.
They need to either make moves toward getting back together with their ex or move on.
11. They Make An Effort To Look Good When You’re Around.
If they put extra effort into their looks when they’re hanging out with you, it could be a sign that they still want to make you feel attracted to them.
Even if you’ve broken up, they sometimes go out of their way to look as good as possible around you because seeing you makes them feel insecure about themselves.
If your ex used to dress in sweatpants and an old college t-shirt when he/she was with you but now wears nice jeans and a cute top whenever she’s around, things have definitely changed.
They may try so hard to impress you that they even dress better than people who are going on a date!
And the best part is that this can happen without them even noticing it.
It feels instinctive for some people to look good when their ex is around, simply because their pride is telling them to show off.
The funny thing is that showing off won’t do anything if your ex isn’t interested anymore!
12. When they bring up the future it’s in a vague way that’s not specific to you or them.
When someone’s over you, they talk about the future in terms of what they plan to do.
But when someone wants you back, they’ll talk about the future in vague terms that don’t necessarily involve you or them.
For example, maybe they say something like this: “I always wanted to be a chef but I never pursued it.
I think I might start looking into culinary school and see where things go from there.”
While this can seem like a random and innocuous conversation topic, if your ex is saying stuff like this, it could mean that he or she is picturing their life without you in it—and therefore might want you back!
Today we’ve looked at signs your ex is not over you, and that you might still have a fighting chance.
Today’s lesson: don’t give up hope! Just because they broke it off with you, doesn’t mean they’re over you — and even if they are, there may be other potential opportunities to get back together down the road. Best of luck.